Sibling Love

    What I think of autism, I think autism is something everyone should experience in one way or another. It doesn’t have to be a sibling or even a family friend but you should try for a week to help an autistic person and see how hard but rewarding it can be in the end.

Now I will talk about the questions people have asked me to answer.

What do you see when you look at Carson? I see a brother that I wish I could be closer to and experience what other siblings do but I know there are people out there with no siblings at all or even parents with only an autistic kid so I know I am still lucky for what I have and i don’t take it for granted for a second.

What is your favorite thing to do with him? I know it might sound selfish but I really don’t do much with him I have a few things I do with him but not really on a regular basis.

What bothers you most? What bothers me the most is the constant repeating that he seems to do now it is fairly annoying and it is hard to get him to stop sometimes.

What amazes you about him? What amazes me is how well he can remember what he does, he can remember everything that Steve on Blues Clues says and it is crazy to me seeing how my dad has trouble remembering what he had for breakfast.

What do you think he will do when he is done with school? It may be sad or even mean to say but I think he will do the same things he does now, which is watch videos on his IPad and go through his routines but I think he will be happier when he is out of school just like every other kid on earth.

Plot Twist

A friend shared a video with me the other day where the woman talked about when things don’t go the way you planned, its ok. Its a plot twist. 

Well let me just tell ya, that term couldn’t be more perfect for a home with Autism. That is one thing we have learned many, many times over the years. Things don’t go as planned, there are plot twists.  We just have to do our best and accept the new plot. 

I had every intention of posting every day for the month of April in honor of Autism Awareness, but due to getting sick I haven’t been able to do that. Its ok tho, I just had a plot twist. 

When Carson was born he was a healthy little boy growing like a bad weed, and as first time parents we thought he was doing everything he was supposed to. He had several ear infections and we thought he was delayed a little because of them. But plot twist, he has Autism. 

So many plot twists over the past 14 years. Some hard to swallow, but we just rewrite the script called life to what works for him and us and see where what the next chapter brings. 

Little things to some BIG to us

When you have an Autistic child and a typical child in your home, there are many things that are non typical.

Reed has said to us on more then one occasion that sometimes he feels like an only child. He doesn’t have a brother to play with like typical families. 

There isn’t much catch in the yard, or wrestling, or bonding.  But when it does happen it is a sight for sore eyes. The times that Carson does want to engage with Reed, there are memories being made that both boys will always have.  Even if Carson can’t verbalize how much fun he is having, the smiles and giggles are all the words needed. 

Today the engaging initiated by Carson was even better. He wanted to play with Reed and two of the little boys I babysit.  These 2 boys have been a part of our family since they days they were born and even Carson knows they are his family. He is their “big brother” . Today he was watching Reed and the boys wrestle around and he wanted to get in on it. There was 4 giggling boys and it was music to my ears. And the smile on Carson’s face says it all.  He loves making memories with his brothers. 

Diagnosis

Hearing the words, your son has Autism, is hard to descibe. As hard as it was to hear, the best and only thing we could do was do everything we possibly could for Carson.  When I hear of parents that deny what a doctor or professional says just because they don’t want their child to be labeled or admit that there is something is wrong with their child it infuriates me. The child is the one that suffers and gets hurt. When you become a parent the first thing you do is love your child unconditionally and do anything and everything for them. Before you! At least that’s what we do.

We did lots of research, we had meetings, we talked to people. We did lots of trial and error. We still do. We are still learning. 

Yes, we hated hearing our child had Autism. We wanted him to have a normal, happy life. Do we have a normal life? No! Do we have a happy life? YES!! We have struggles, we have good days, we have milestones, we have bad days. We just take the good with the bad. We celebrate our boy and how amazing and unique he is and love him unconditionally! 

April is Autism Awareness Month

Tomorrow is April 1st and it is a month for raising Autism Awareness. Of course in our home it is every day, every month, every year. 

14 years since we got the diagnosis that changed our lives. I have said it before - even though it is not a life threatening diagnosis, it most certainly is a life altering diagnosis. 

The goal of my blog and posts is to share a glimpse of home life. By no means am I or are we experts. Writing on here is a form of therapy for me. Somedays there are no words, some days there are many. 

If you are reading this, and you have questions about something, ask me. I will do my best to answer. 

Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog. 

Love you Forever

I try to keep my posts honest and uplifting and remaining positive and encouraging, but not all days are like that. Some days the truth is sad, depressing and hurt! So I write....

Not sure why I find myself drawn to sad love stories, but I always have.

Tonight I found myself watching a movie about a father with a wife and young daughter who found out he had terminal cancer. He thought about all the things that he would miss of his daughters life. So he decided to find a replacement that would help him. Someone he knew would be there for his wife and daughter after he was gone. I know, I know, only in the movies....

But I find myself laying here thinking about my life. No I am not sick or dying, but one of my greatest fears is what about my kids if something happens to me.  Especially Carson.  When you have a special needs kid the thoughts are on my mind all the time. To be honest it makes me afraid to go away from my kids. I know that is unhealthy and not what I should think about but I do. I make myself do things and go places. 

If something happens to me or God forbid both Bill and I, what about the boys. We have a will and we have plans set in place, but still I think about all the things that we have learned, experiences, trials and tribulations. Are they going to know he has to have 2 sandwiches, he needs help cleaning himself, he has to do things on his terms to prevent meltdowns, what foods he likes and doesn’t like, that you have to watch him when you tell him to put deoderant on or he will put have a stick on, you have to shave his face, you have to help him wash?? Is someone else going to be able to do the things for Carson that he needs? It is ALOT! I think about Reed, did he ask to have a special needs brother? Is it fair to think that his brother could become his responsibility some day? NO! IT IS NOT!! Do I think he will step up when/if needed, I think so, but it isn’t fair. 

No one should have to think about these things. But life sucks sometimes and these are the things we are left to deal with. I have learned over the past year, life is short, life gives us heartbreak, and we just never know what might happen. So these things are on my mind! 

As I tucked Carson into bed tonight and we went through our nightly routine of good nights, after I said I love you bunches, and bunches and bunches, I said I love you forever and ever. And like music to my ears Carson said back to me, forever and ever with a kiss.

FOREVER AND EVER MY BOYS, FOREVER AND EVER! 

Sometimes it just hurts

Last week I got the phone call that I feared since Carson’s diagnosis. I got a call from his teacher that kids were laughing at Carson. The environment that he was in when the laughing occured and the fact that the kids that were laughing at him were fellow classmates, made the situation even more disappointing. 

Another student saw what was going on, knew it was wrong, and reported it. The School quickly took action. Calling parents and discussing discipline. 

I really can not explain the wide range of emotions that went through me over the weekend. I was hurt, angry, disappointed, sad, scared and furious to name a few. Why do kids have to do things like this? We know it is everywhere. Everyone needs to understand that your actions have consequences, some positive, some not. THINK before you do or say something. THINK THINK THINK! 

The Mom of one of the boys reached out to me apologizing for the boys behavior. And he came to our house to apologize to my face. Honestly I didn’t know what to say to either of them. I listened to their words and I appreciated them and accepted them. His Mom and Dad are good people and it tore them up like it did us. The fact that they reached out means alot to us. He told me he was wrong and he was sorry. I think he will learn from this. His parents are still our friends. I don’t wish ill will on these boys.  

I got a call from the principal telling me what the  decided punishment would be for the boys was to be spending 1 day a week for the remainder of the school year in the classroom where Carson and other special needs students are in.

I am very pleased with this course of action by the school. I think that it is very important for these boys to be able to see the ups and downs for all these kids. 

To see the struggles they have with doing some of the simplest things, the things that we take for granted. To see the pride and joy in their faces when they accomplish something. To remember that these kids are someone’s brother or sister and to not only think how it would make them feel if someone laughed at their brother or sister for something or to think how it would make them feel if it was them that was getting laughed at. Maybe they will stop and think, wow I am lucky. I could be one of them students,. 

God chooses which kids will be special and which ones will be typical. We don’t understand why, someday we will. But what we must do is open our eyes and our hearts and realize that these kids are humans, they are who they are meant to be. We need to embrace the amazing, hug through the tears, lift up when they are down and to support and love everyone no matter what.