HUG DEALER

If you have been to our house in the past couple years, you have probably been greeted by a hug from Carson.  He likes to share hugs.  Considering that there was a time that he didn't want to be touched by anyone, and hugs were few and far between, it is a huge deal for us.

Imagine trying to give your child a hug and he would turn his back and lean gently barely touching you.  It was heartbreaking as a mom to not be able to give hugs or get hugs from your child.  When he was having meltdowns and upset when he was little, I could not comfort him with hugs.

People with Autism are sensitive to touch, sounds, lights, colors, textures...each child is different.  Carson had sensitivity to touch.  Although he likes skin on skin contact.  For example he would come up to Bill with no shirt on, climb behind him in the chair or on the couch, and lift Bills shirt up and put his bare belly against Bill's bare back, then he would pull Bill back so that he had Bill's weight leaning against him.  He used to love to do that with his Papa too.
Carson would lay on the floor  and we would take exercise balls and we roll across him with our weight on top of the ball because he liked the pressure.  He still likes to lay on his bed with as many pillows as he can have piled on top of him.

For a couple years, Carson's comfort color was green.  He would only wear a green shirt.  So everyone was always on the look out for green shirts.  He didn't care what the shirt said or looked like as long as it was green.  Wore green everyday.  A few years ago, someone bought him a yellow shirt with minion on it, and that became his new favorite shirt.  So his new favorite color became yellow. (Which matches his personality, a ray of sunshine) I remember going school shopping one year, and Carson took off towards a rack of clothes that had a yellow shirt and he insisted that he get.  It was a Pittsburgh Steelers shirt.  And he was proud of it.  So he chose his own football team to support.  :-)  Now he will wear what ever shirt I lay out for him (as long as there are no tags in the shirt, if there is a tag, he will bring you scissors to cut it out), but if he is having a bad morning, and not wanting to get moving, I will get him a yellow shirt and typically that helps bring that sunshine smile out.

Carson definitely likes soft textures.  He loves super soft blankets, wrapping himself up in them over his bare skin.  And the texture of food is important to him as well.  He will eat yogurt (as long as it is Trix yogurt), but he will not eat mashed potatoes, or ice cream.  After many times of being told NOOOOO - we have gotten him to eat chicken in a different form then chicken nuggets or tenders.  I can fry a chicken breast now, or cook chicken in a crock pot so it is shredded almost, and he will eat it.  He has even started eating roast. Pork or beef.  And he will eat pork chops but he will not eat hamburger.  It is all about the appearance and the texture.  We get a smile and giggle watching him inspect his plate well before he will eat it.  Be careful that you don't season it too much because pepper or "green stuff" can make him refuse to eat it.

Lights - he loves colored lights, and he wants a light on in his room every night.  We have a rope light that goes across the ceiling, and that is part of his nightly routine, plugging that in before bed.

Back to hugs. I am not sure when it started, although I probably jumped for joy when it started, but something clicked in his brain and Carson decided that he liked hugs.  He liked getting hugs and he liked giving hugs.  He gives them to anyone that will let him that comes in the door. Last summer even the UPS driver got a hug.  People say how much they love his hugs and that they make his day.  They really are the best.  He knows when you need one too.  If I am upset about something, he always seems to know and will come give you a hug.  He will be outside and come in the door, walk over to you give you a hug and walk back outside.  If Bill or I give each other a hug and Carson is around, he will come right over to give a group hug.  Reed even has to get in on it too.  Family group hugs are the best.  When Carson started high school they told me that they were going to steer him away from giving hugs to giving hand shakes.  Although I totally respect what they are teaching him at school, I am not able to do that at home.  Hugs are a big milestone and I encourage them.  He knows that he is supposed to have his shirt on when he gives hugs, or he has to shake hands.  (Although there is the occasional time that someone is greeted with a hug by a young man in his underwear, sorry about that)

Never give up a chance to get a hug - they melt the worries and stresses away.